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In this milieu, any shred of humanity is a deadly weakness.
The man who tortured me was one of the defendants in the notorious Dutroux case, which, when it broke the news in 1996, was believed it would blow up the Belgian pedophile network.
But instead, eight years later, only Marc Dutroux received a life sentence.
When was the last time you struck up a conversation with a complete stranger at a bar, snared a boyfriend through a blind date or had a fling with some guy you met at a random concert? Everyone knows that the dating scene is online - unless you're willing to televise your quest for love and sign up for the second series of First Dates, in which case, bravo.
Whether you've been on 100 online dates or have resigned yourself to the fact that you'll most likely die alone or worse, are considering allowing your mum to play matchmaker (because Tom from next door seems like husband material), in 2016, finding that perfect match is an art form.
It takes so much energy to survive not only the physical violence, but to endure the psychic drain of abuse — to carry the shame.
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Just surviving daily life while trying to heal from child sexual abuse requires a thousand times the strength it would require for someone without awareness to pursue a successful career.They made a deal: he would work for the politician, extend his shady services in exchange for my life.This one good deed eventually cost him his own life.If you're tired of swiping right and ending up with another creep, Tinder isn't the only dating app out there, there's a huge variety of apps to choose from.Dating may be tricky but most mobile apps operate the same way.When my torture began, he stood watching, laughing. My energetic body latched onto his in pure defiance. " had become me, and all I saw was the energy behind the troubled ocean of blue in his eyes, and the love in spite of all the pain he had passed on to me.This was the third time that my entire being became filled with an otherworldly force. I was led away to a small room, and strapped onto a butcher's block.This was the only positive in my life, and I clung to it as my only raft to keep from drowning in a sea of shame and self-loathing. Not since the first time I had been brought to an orgy, four years earlier, had I expressed my true feelings. Read More: I Was Raped by a Fellow Freshman & My College Found Him Innocent: Aspen Mattis Shares Her Story"You think I like it here? This interaction started the most intense year of my life, in which I would feel more than ever loved, seen, and understood, and would be more than ever abused, all by that same young man.After four years of surviving the network, when I was 10, a new guest brought along his 20-year-old son: tall, dashing, blond, and blue-eyed. A year later, when he was through with me, I was of no use to the network anymore, and was to be killed.My instant thought was: "If this is true, I'm going to kill myself."I was too identified with the experience, and the shame was too great.I wasn't ready, and pushed the memory back into the subconscious.