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Dating a girl with trust issues

I can tell you from personal experience that this was a skill I needed to learn.

In my past, there have been times when even though the relationship was good, my insecurity would eat away at me.

You’re just seeing what he’s doing online and that information is freely available to the world.

Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…

Now to keep that in perspective, I also say it’s in your best interest to do and be everything you can in order to make the kind of men you desire to really to commit to you. When both people really want a great relationship, the relationship feels effortless.

That is not to say that no effort goes into the relationship – my statement is that the work that the relationship takes doesn’t feel like effort… a meaningful contribution to something worthy, fulfilling and great.

A problem with suspicion and snooping is: the more you fear and suspect, the more that fear and suspicion eats away at you and creates more fears and suspicions!

This creates a vicious cycle that destroys trust in the relationship and ultimately causes a problem where there was none. You have to remember that you don’t know his full story yet.As such, some of the comments (which I have preserved) bring up points that I have since addressed in this revision.Right off the top, you mentioned that you and he have agreed to be exclusive.when we talked a little while ago, you said we’re exclusive… ” (I would listen for if their answer is a clear “yes” or if it’s some vague, weird, wishy-washy response…in which case, I would interpret that as a not-yes and assume that you are definitely NOT exclusive and assume he is indeed acting accordingly…) If he says yes, I would go on to say: “OK, good, that’s what I thought. we live in a time where everyone can see everything that’s going on online with people.Something in me made me curious and I looked at your Match profile and saw you’d logged on recently after we said we’d be exclusive. I’m not here to ‘catch you’ or worry about what you may or may not be up to…And I while it did make me feel confused and a bit nervous, I figured it’s always possible it could have been something innocent – maybe you were canceling the service, changing your billing info, etc. if you want something other than an exclusive relationship…In this case, you know he goes on because you can see it.But since the beginning of time, men and women have had to learn to trust one another in their relationship.So this may or may not be a situation you need to say NO to…It is possible that when you talk to him, you’ll gain insight into his position.

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