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Dating widower with young children
" To answer that question, I recommend you start where every woman considering marriage should begin, and that's by assessing the man's spiritual state.
Is the father of the children you're caring for trusting Christ for the forgiveness of his sins? Is he growing in spiritual maturity and regularly taking part in the means of grace and life in the body?
If your circumstances are pushing you toward an unwise match — and a 20-year age difference has the potential to be unwise — it would be best to end the relationship, by ending your service as their nanny, before you become even more emotionally entangled.
In such cases, it was common and even necessary for the remaining spouse to remarry, both for their own well-being, as well as the care and nurture of the children.
I think one reason the idea of this widower marrying you — the woman who is caring for his children — may seem strange, is because in our day, life expectancy is much longer (on average) and young children more often than not make it to adulthood with both parents still living.
Is it something you've shared with an older Christian woman in your life? If a widower remarries, his first wife will always be a vital part of his life and story, even as the second wife would grow to be that, too.
(Titus 2:3-5) It's important to have the support and encouragement of other believers you trust as you try to assess the potential for this relationship. I suspect it would be somewhat like losing a baby to miscarriage and then finding yourself pregnant again.
Over the years I have grown to really love these kids.
I am in my early 30s, and while most of my life I have struggled with being single, I now appreciate where God has me: unattached and able to love these kids in a way that I couldn't if I were married and had my own children.
In another day, it would make good, practical sense for this dad to marry you.
The question is, "Does it make good, practical sense now?
We know without qualification that believers are not to marry unbelievers (2 Corinthians ).
If he is a believer, then he may be God's provision for you of a husband, just as you may be God's provision for him of a wife.