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Advice online dating first message

You’re two grown-ups, not a sugardaddy and his gold-digger.

Chivalry means being attentive, thoughtful and fair, not paying for all the food.

Are you tired of not getting responses to the messages you send on online dating sites and apps?

Whether it’s Match.com, Ok Cupid, POF, or Tinder, it sucks sending a message to a girl you really like and getting ignored.

Six emails in total – not each – is enough to know whether you want a date. Chances are that you won’t fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. It’s easy to lose faith when your first few dates don’t work out.

It’s very unusual for someone to find a good match in their first few attempts.

A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.

Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.You do this by being original and, above all, specific about your interests.Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you’ve ever seen.On Tinder, you can pair an attention-grabbing GIF with a humorous message: On a dating site like or POF, you could make a joke about the shared experience of scrolling through profile after profile: Finding common ground is a pro move, because if you can make her think the two of you are similar she’s more likely to respond.Women are simply more comfortable around people who remind them of themselves.This is why most guys give up entirely within just a few months.It’s incredibly frustrating and exhausting when you put hours into online dating and don’t hear back from the women you message.“I asked my friend to describe me, and here’s what he wrote…” is a cop-out.By writing this in your profile, you’re telling people that you’re not smart or self-aware enough to write it yourself.Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer’s ex.Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their ad and write a quick intro email. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply.

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